Fineas, who has seen half a village’s worth of people kidnapped, feels a rage he’s never felt before and swings in desperation as his friends are in danger: rolls a nat 20 and delivers 14DMG to Fantasy Jeff Bezos
DM: You decapitate Fucking Fantasy Jeff Bezos.
Liana: Woah. He really lost his head. Guess he should have worked on his return policy.
When the Half-Orc Bard (who is a drummer) and the Elven Forest Druid (who believes in the rules of the forest and not in anything else) roll a 6 and a 4 on stealth after the human fighter says “let’s be quiet.”
me: my human fighter is going to light a torch so he can see whatever monster they’re fighting
dm: he sees this
me: HE FUCKINGNGN WHATT
WE’RE LITERALLY FIGHTING FANTASTY JEFF BEZOS, THE RULER OF FANTASY AMAZON, A TERRIFYING DUNGEON FULL OF KIDNAPPED FAMILIES WHO ARE FORCED TO MAKE THINGS AND SEND THEM OFF INTO TURRET MOUNTED DRONES! SKDJFSDLFJSDLJKSFJ HIS BOSS DIALOGUE IN INCREDIBLE
me: my human fighter is going to light a torch so he can see whatever monster they’re fighting
dm: he sees this
me: HE FUCKINGNGN WHATT
WE’RE LITERALLY FIGHTING FANTASTY JEFF BEZOS, THE RULER OF FANTASY AMAZON, A TERRIFYING DUNGEON FULL OF KIDNAPPED FAMILIES WHO ARE FORCED TO MAKE THINGS AND SEND THEM OFF INTO TURRET MOUNTED DRONES! SKDJFSDLFJSDLJKSFJ HIS BOSS DIALOGUE IN INCREDIBLE
FINEAS, MY HUMAN FIGHTER: STAND DOWN, JEFF BEZOS. I DON’T WANT TO HURT YOU… BUT I WILL!!! (rolls a NAT 20 INTIMIDATION)
DM: Jeff Bezos… hesitates. He begins to question if perhaps… maybe he’s lost his way… (he rolls a nat 1 and falls to his knees, beginning to cry) What have I done? What have I, Jeff Bezos, done?
Fineas: [He immediately relaxes] I don’t think it’s too late for you to become a better person.
DM: Do you really believe that a person like myself, Jeff Bezos, can truly change?
Fineas: I believe everyone is deserving of a second chance!!
DM: Tears are streaming down Jeff Bezos’ face as he reaches out to your Fineas.
Fineas: He reaches out to try to take Jeff Bezos’ hand, smiling and relieved.
DM: Fineas, Jeff Bezos clasps your hand and gets to his feet. He says “I’m not sure if I can truly abandon the empire that I, Jeff Bezos, have built.”
Fineas: [He appeals to the better nature of Jeff Fucking Bezos] Surely you can work in the markets of places that need you, places that already exist and are struggling? [rolls 12 persuasion]
DM: I think maybe… just maybe… [dice roll] I want you to roll a perception check.
Fineas: [10]
DM: Kava (dragonborn rogue) and Gryida (half-orc bard) you both see Jeff Bezos reaching to his hip with his free hand. Alright, so Fineas, Jeff Bezos grabs a knife from his hip and stabs you between the ribs for 4 DMG.
Fineas: AAHHHGH! I TRUSTED YOU! [He staggers back.] I CAN’T BELIEVE I TRUSTED YOU!!
DM: YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TRUSTED ME, FANTASTY JEFF BEZOS.
DM: THE CHAIR SPINS AROUND AND YOU ARE FACE TO FACE WITH THIS MAN
“THIS IS FANTASY AMAZON. THOSE PEOPLE ARE HERE VOLUNTARILY! IT’S A FANTASTIC PLACE TO WORK!”
my human fighter, Fineas: YOU’RE GOING TO LET ALL OF THOSE KIDNAPPED PEOPLE FREE OR YOU’RE GOING TO PAY
dm, voicing the boss to the one-off campaign, who happens to also be Jeff Bezos: oh no! YOU’RE going to pay. in full. plus. shipping and handling.
As someone not involved in the development of pillowfort but am a web developer, I think you should lower your expectations, but not for the reason you think.
Pillowfort is a baby. A newborn. A smol bab. If you were here during the early days of Tumblr, think of that.
Pillowfort simply cannot be the immediate solution to your woes. It needs to be nurtured and cared for to become a mature and happy adult.
If you want Pillowfort to work, they’ll need feedback, advice, bug reports, etc. This is a chance to make Pillowfort the Ao3 of Fanfiction.net. It’s not gonna happen overnight, you need to give it time and love and it’ll get there.
If you don’t want to pay money to get into the beta, that’s ok. It will be open to the public soon enough and you won’t have to pay a dime. Their financial model moving forward sounds good (a subscription fee for super extra features), but even an Ao3 model would work swell for them probably.
We’re living in an interesting time on the internet. Governments across the world are cracking down on content and yet community run websites are starting to thrive more and more.
Tumblr once upon a time was what Pillowfort is today, but this time, let’s make sure Pillowfort can stay independent from mega corporations.
yes this
most of the criticism i’ve seen of pf so far ultimately come back to this
is it an alright platform with a good community? yes. does it have a lot of potential? yes. does it have a lot of problems still being worked out? yes. are the staff open and responsive? absolutely. do i recommend it? yes, if you’re willing to live in a house while it’s being built.
but it’s not a ready-made replacement for tumblr. set your expectations accordingly.
Yes. If you get an invite and move to Pillowfort, then be a good and patient beta user. It takes time to shape the User Experience for a social media platform, and the backend will likely experience some issues with increased use.
That means that you’ll probably want to maintain at least two blogs while PF matures.
heroboof tumblr backup 